Happy Birthday, Alesha! My only daughter turned 20 years old today. She is the reason why Legacy Clubs for Mothers and Daughters was born.
Growing up I wanted badly to have a relationship with my mother, to be close to her, to be friends. But this was not her priority. My heart ached as a little girl and as a teenager to feel and enjoy a bond with my mother. I declared many times to myself that ‘when I had a daughter we would be close’. And I have tried to be a good mother to Alesha and to three sons.
I am a big Dr. Laura fan and she tells those adults that did not have the kind of parents that they needed that they can heal these wounds by being good parents to their children and can create the bond that they once needed with their own. I have worked hard to accomplish this. Alesha has helped heal these wounds. I now have what I have always needed — a beautiful mother daughter relationship.
Alesha is my second child. My oldest son, Matt, was born four years previous and then it took some time to get pregnant with her. I had a c-section with my first and my doctor told me that I should have the next c-section, so I did. I didn’t like setting an alarm to have a baby, so I didn’t want to know her sex. I wanted some surprise. And I got it. There were so many boys on both sides of the family I never allowed myself to think about having a girl. But just in case, I had two favorite names — Candace and Alesha. And so she was scheduled for delivery at 7:00 am the morning after my favorite holiday, the fourth of July. When I held her in my room after recovery for the first time and called her ‘Candace’, it didn’t fit. Then I called her ‘Alesha’, and it was so right. Her nickname is “Shesha”.
When the doctor announced it was a girl, I was truly surprised, but so excited. I remember I just wept. I never liked the way my arms were strapped down for surgery and I couldn’t hold my own babies, but my husband brought her in her bundle to my face and our cheeks touched and I cried. I felt such love for her and I knew that I already knew her. The first thing I felt about her spirit was that she was grounded. This was a very strong impression that has proved over time to be true.
Alesha has endured many challenges already in her young life. She consistently and constantly amazes me. She has a strength and an ability to cope that many adults do not possess. She is naturally loving, nurturing and generous. She has been not only an incredible daughter, but also a special sister to her three brothers. Even now she still gives her youngest brother, Tanner, who is 13 years old, special attention every day. She just came inside to announce that they were throwing water balloons outside in the back yard. I know most girls at her age wouldn’t bother.
Alesha is very talented. She plays her violin beautifully and I love to hear her sweet voice sing Hymns in church. She knows who she is and has always been stable and always will be. She is wise and gives good advice to friends and family. She is loyal, dependable and responsible and is always there for those she loves and cares for.
She is going into the field of graphic design and has another year at a local University. She will be moving out to experience the campus life in six weeks which I am trying hard not to think about. But she will only live 30 minutes away and I know our bond that we have created is strong and we will always stay close.
She has been there for me and for her brothers through tough times. I cannot even express in words the deep love and respect that I feel for her. I am proud she is my daughter and I know she will have a great life. I know she has been raised right and she is a righteous daughter of God with an important mission. I know she will be an incredible wife and mother to my grandchildren and look forward to those times ahead.
Alesha, I love you! Today is the first day of the rest of your life. You have been given wings to fly and I hope you enjoy your life. We live in a time when raising daughters is challenging, but thank you for being such an easy daughter to raise, for being such a good teenager, for being so loyal, helpful and obedient. It has truly been a joy. And you always know that I am here for you, no matter what. Love Mom
Tags: children, daughters, Dr. Laura, friends, God, joy, mom, mother, mother daughter, mother daughter relationship, nurturing, parents, raising daughters, relationship, sons, teenager
