A Sweet Poem from My Daughter

It was my birthday in August and my daughter gave me a beautiful Hallmark birthday card that I meant to share.  I have been collecting poems for mothers and daughters that I can include on our www.legacyclubs.org web site.  Here it is:

I‘m So Lucky to Have a Mother Who’s Also my Friend

When I was little,
I depended on you a lot.
Now, I still don’t know
what I’d do without  you…
but for very different reasons.
You understand me so well
(even when I don’t want to admit it),
and you support the choices
I’ve made in my life.
I really enjoy the time
we spend together…
I think I’m lucky
that you’re as much a friend
as a mother to me.

You know I’ve made lots of mistakes in my life, but I can say I’ve done one thing right — I am close to my daughter.  Thanks, Alesha.  She made my birthday a very special day!

I am a Grandma!

On September 13th, my oldest son, Matt, and his wife, Jen, gave me my first grand baby — McKella Anne.  I have been so excited to be a grandmother.  I love babies and little kids.  I am so grateful that Jen is doing well and that McKella is healthy.  I am so proud of my son.  He works hard every day providing for his sweet, little family, so that his wife can be a stay-at-home mom and take care of this precious one.  It is so incredible to see your baby holding his baby.  Time has sure flown by.

Jen is a good mother and I know she will create a special mother daughter bond with McKella.  She was blessed to have a good mother who did that for her, so she knows all about it.  I look forward to spending quality time with McKella in the future and passing on the legacy of conservative values that others passed on to me.  And I look forward to more of these babies coming into our family.

Thank you to Jane Chastain and World Net Daily!

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Girl Scouts’ Journey to the New Age

Posted: July 17, 20081:00 am Eastern © 2008 

Before you take a journey, you need to know the destination. This summer, the Girl Scouts are inviting members to set out on a journey of “change” that is billed as a “leadership experience.” However, it was inspired by a New Age group, and it may take you or your daughter to a place that is not compatible with your faith or values.

Back in 1995, the Girl Scouts put an asterisk by the word “God” in the Girl Scout Promise, which allowed members to tell the Almighty to take a hike. It’s been downhill ever since.

Like the “change” that is now being promoted by presidential candidate Barack Obama, the words are warm and fuzzy and the goals difficult to pin down, but the emphasis in these new Girl Scout journeys is on creating self-esteem, developing one’s own value system and global group think on a series of politically correct themes.

Even the word “leadership” has a new definition. Girl Scout CEO Kathy Cloninger says, “When people, including girls, think about leadership, they still too often think command and control of power and position. Girls in this country need a new definition of leadership so they can relate to it and aspire to it.”

Cloninger’s definition of leadership has three components:

• knowing oneself and having confidence in one’s ability;
• being able to have empathy for and relate well to others and appreciate diversity;
• caring enough to make the world better.

How sweet! It looks like the Girl Scouts are more interested in creating a mass that can be easily led around by the nose for the “global good” than giving girls the skills to become real leaders.

As a former Girl Scout who has broken a lot of barriers for women and who shares a birthday with founder Juliette Low, I am taking this latest insult personally.

The Girl Scouts were led down this garden path by the Ashland Institute, an organization that promotes Transitional Awareness.

TA is described on the groups website as “an experience in expansion of the True Self addressing ‘All of Life as Change’ (ah, there is that word again) with Intentional Focus and Intuition. One begins to feel the body as a complete map of human consciousness. …”

Surely, this is not what Low had in mind when she designed a program to help girls develop “physically, mentally and spiritually”!

Transitional Awareness, according to the Ashland Institute, “is a learning experience which transcends the mind’s information-based system – as the brain, heart and body integrates information, you begin to learn in a new and different way as you tune into your Heart Spirit. … Through precise observation and feedback and an interview, you allow your Spirit or Essence of your Being, your True Self, to move into creating the life you desire and deserve.”

Did you get all that? You, in effect, become your own god.

The first three journeys’ programs begin innocently enough: The Daisy program offers kindergartners the chance to meet flowers and critters who guide them to explore global diversity, botany, the environment and stewardship of the land. The Brownies are invited to “go ELF” by exploring, linking arms and flying into action. The Juniors become “Agents of Change” and make “peace kits.”

By the time they reach the Seniors program, it is hard-core. It’s called GIRLtopia.  Senior Scouts are to become “ambassadors” and explore “the rich and global history of women’s advocacy efforts.”

For years, the Girl Scouts offered young girls an opportunity to honor God and develop useful and practical skills. Today, the emphasis seems to have shifted to the adults who will serve as “guides” after having been indoctrinated with New Age beliefs through Ashland’s “Coming into Your Own” personal development program. You can only imagine what some of the “outcomes” of these new life journeys will be.

While the scouting experience largely depends on the mindset of local leaders, even with the best of leaders, this curriculum will be in the hands of the girls. Therefore, for many, compromises have to be made in order to coexist with the national goals, tradition and programs.

The God of the Bible is a jealous God. He is all-powerful. We are to seek His will for our lives and live by His values, not create our own.

Fortunately, there are some good alternatives to the Girl Scouts. Legacy Clubs for mothers and daughters began last year in Draper, Utah. American Heritage Girls began 13 years ago in Cincinnati, Ohio, and is now active in 33 states. AHG closely mirrors the program begun by Juliette Low.

Happy Birthday to My Daughter

Happy Birthday, Alesha! My only daughter turned 20 years old today. She is the reason why Legacy Clubs for Mothers and Daughters was born.

Growing up I wanted badly to have a relationship with my mother, to be close to her, to be friends. But this was not her priority. My heart ached as a little girl and as a teenager to feel and enjoy a bond with my mother. I declared many times to myself that ‘when I had a daughter we would be close’. And I have tried to be a good mother to Alesha and to three sons.

I am a big Dr. Laura fan and she tells those adults that did not have the kind of parents that they needed that they can heal these wounds by being good parents to their children and can create the bond that they once needed with their own. I have worked hard to accomplish this. Alesha has helped heal these wounds. I now have what I have always needed — a beautiful mother daughter relationship.

Alesha is my second child. My oldest son, Matt, was born four years previous and then it took some time to get pregnant with her. I had a c-section with my first and my doctor told me that I should have the next c-section, so I did. I didn’t like setting an alarm to have a baby, so I didn’t want to know her sex. I wanted some surprise. And I got it. There were so many boys on both sides of the family I never allowed myself to think about having a girl. But just in case, I had two favorite names — Candace and Alesha. And so she was scheduled for delivery at 7:00 am the morning after my favorite holiday, the fourth of July. When I held her in my room after recovery for the first time and called her ‘Candace’, it didn’t fit. Then I called her ‘Alesha’, and it was so right. Her nickname is “Shesha”.

When the doctor announced it was a girl, I was truly surprised, but so excited. I remember I just wept. I never liked the way my arms were strapped down for surgery and I couldn’t hold my own babies, but my husband brought her in her bundle to my face and our cheeks touched and I cried. I felt such love for her and I knew that I already knew her. The first thing I felt about her spirit was that she was grounded. This was a very strong impression that has proved over time to be true.

Alesha has endured many challenges already in her young life. She consistently and constantly amazes me. She has a strength and an ability to cope that many adults do not possess. She is naturally loving, nurturing and generous. She has been not only an incredible daughter, but also a special sister to her three brothers. Even now she still gives her youngest brother, Tanner, who is 13 years old, special attention every day. She just came inside to announce that they were throwing water balloons outside in the back yard. I know most girls at her age wouldn’t bother.

Alesha is very talented. She plays her violin beautifully and I love to hear her sweet voice sing Hymns in church. She knows who she is and has always been stable and always will be. She is wise and gives good advice to friends and family. She is loyal, dependable and responsible and is always there for those she loves and cares for.

She is going into the field of graphic design and has another year at a local University. She will be moving out to experience the campus life in six weeks which I am trying hard not to think about. But she will only live 30 minutes away and I know our bond that we have created is strong and we will always stay close.

She has been there for me and for her brothers through tough times. I cannot even express in words the deep love and respect that I feel for her. I am proud she is my daughter and I know she will have a great life. I know she has been raised right and she is a righteous daughter of God with an important mission. I know she will be an incredible wife and mother to my grandchildren and look forward to those times ahead.

Alesha, I love you! Today is the first day of the rest of your life. You have been given wings to fly and I hope you enjoy your life. We live in a time when raising daughters is challenging, but thank you for being such an easy daughter to raise, for being such a good teenager, for being so loyal, helpful and obedient. It has truly been a joy. And you always know that I am here for you, no matter what. Love Mom

American Values - Family, Freedom, God and Country

Our family traveled south to Provo (Utah) last Sunday evening to attend the Provo City America’s Freedom Festival inspirational meeting which opens their week of festivities.  This is the largest freedom festival of its kind in the world.  Glenn Beck was the speaker.  We are big fans of Glenn and it was thrilling to see him in person and hear him speak.  He was overwhelmed with over 22,000 people giving him a standing ovation at the beginning and the end of his speech.  His speech was amazing and touching.  He is passionate about America and works hard to help inform us.  You can hear more about it at www.glennbeck.com.

Even my daughter, Alesha, who turns 20 this Saturday, loves Glenn.  She listens to him to and from her University when she is in school and catches him on CNN in the evening.  She is learning a lot about our American values and the importance of teaching those values to others, especially our families.  I am so proud of her patriotism and love for this country.  I know that Glenn has inspired her love for history.  She routinely brings home historical documentaries from the library.  We especially enjoy ones about our founding fathers.

She was born the morning after the 4th of July, on the 5th.  When she was a little girl we would tell her that the parade and the fireworks were for her.  That all the people were there to celebrate her birthday.  She would dance around with her sparklers believing it was so.  The 4th of July is our favorite holiday.  Celebrating together strengthens our bond.

I hope those who read this will celebrate this day with their families, friends and loved ones and share their thoughts and feelings about family, freedom, God and Country.  God Bless America.

How to bond with your daughter!

There are different ways that mothers try to bond with their daughters. Mothers who are already nurturing and have their focus on the family seem to be better at bonding with their daughters. Other moms have to learn how to bond. I do know it is worth the time and effort, because the benefits for your daughter will shape the rest of her life. Parenting is always a challenge, especially parenting teenagers. It is better to create that bond while your daughter is young so it is there when she needs you then wait until she is a teenager.

Some ways are the obvious ones that daughters recognize easily like shopping, or going to the movies, or eating out. The obvious ones are the activities or events that we know our daughter cannot refuse that always work.

One of my most obvious was when I bought mother and daughter dresses for the two of us. I remember when my daughter was about six, I found a company that sold matching mother daughter outfits and mother daughter jewelry. I bought us matching dresses that had denim at the top and a flowery, broom stick skirt. Of course, neither one of us would be caught dead in that same dress again. But at the time it was fun and we liked the comments we would get at church and when we walked home afterward we would twirl. It was a great dress for twirling. My young daughter knew what I was doing, bonding.

There are my more subtle methods of bonding, especially when she seemed to pull away from me. These take more time to ponder and strategize and, sometimes, prayer. I learned when she was young to sneak in bonding when she least expected it and it usually came disguised in another form. Sometimes bonding meant giving her what she needed at the time, her space. Sometimes it even meant to allow her to be moody and unpleasant for a day or two and not comment.

I have learned that creating a strong bond sometimes means not saying anything. And most mothers love to talk and we sometimes talk too much. This hasn’t been an easy one for me. But if it meant it was best for her, then I shut my mouth. And, of course, many other times I have talked when it was what was best even though she didn’t want to hear it. Because she knows I am a mother first, and friend second.

The first eight years of our relationship had been quite pleasant. Then one day I was thrown a curve ball that I wasn’t prepared for. Our local church offered a program for girls. Once a week she would go to another mother’s house, along with other girls her age, and that mother would teach them different things like sewing, cooking, crafts, etc. I must confess, I felt a little threatened. I didn’t like the idea of another mother spending all that time with my daughter and teaching her all those fun things. That was my job and I wanted to share those times with her.

Even though she did go each week and we did support this program, I have to admit I felt jealous. I guess my competitive side kicked in which was only a good thing for her. It meant that I had to put more effort into spending time with her and deciding what I really wanted to teach her. I knew that along with having fun, I wanted to also teach her about my conservative values.

In my efforts to create a plan and organize activities, I began to research what other organizations or programs were available for girls and if there were any mother daughter organizations. I was surprised that there was no organization for mothers and daughters available. I did locate several mother daughter book clubs, but I wanted more activities than just reading books. So next I searched to find a girl scouting program. I remembered a Catholic friend of mind taking me to Brownie Girl Scouts when I was a child, so that is where I started, but it didn’t take long to learn of their liberal agenda and leadership. I learned that they had taken God out of their oath and that was unacceptable to me. And I would still be sending her off to be taught by someone else.

I also considered the American Heritage Girls, a newly-formed Christian organization for girls at the time, but I really didn’t want the structure of a scouting program. When it came right down to it I struggled with sending my daughter anywhere to have others teach her their values. I wanted to be the one that taught my daughter my conservative values and my belief system. I wanted to be the one that created those memories with her and enjoyed all that fun together.

So the very first mother daughter club was organized back in the late 90s. We didn’t have a name for it, we weren’t very organized and there was only the two of us, but we knew we were creating something special. Sometimes we had planned activities, but most of the time we just enjoyed being together and talking.

What happened between us is a bond that can never be broken. It is eternal. And now I have taught her pretty much everything I know and when she wants to talk she knows I am available and she comes to me. She has embraced the same conservative values that I embraced a long time ago and now comes to me with her questions. I am proud of the young lady she has become and excited to watch her become a mother for the first time and pass it all on to another generation, my posterity.

This all happened because my priority was our mother daughter relationship. I made a declaration to the world the second the doctor said, “It’s a girl”. My spirit inside me immediately shouted, “And we are going to be close”. Being close doesn’t just happen. It takes prayer, planning and work. It also helps to have a daughter that wants the same. I have been blessed with a daughter that wanted to be close to her mother and she is.

I invite you to join with us. Visit this special organization at www.legacyclubs.org.